Hello! May has come to an end, and with it, here comes a new month recap :3c

Re: Social Media and Mental Health

Last month I told you I wanted to stay away from social media and start drawing more for myself… Well I can say I’m kind of doing that?? I’m definitely feeling better than last month, partially because I started going to the art classes I’ve been mentioning since the year started! I’m super happy I took this big step forward, not just because it’ll help me improve my art but because it’ll make me go outside more, talk more to people, improve my mental health! It’s just something that’s lifted my mood a lot, so I’ve been feeling a lot better lately…

Because of that, I don’t feel the need to stay away from the internet as much as I said last time, but I’m definitely still taking some time for myself. Bluesky has a really calm TL that doesn’t have me spending hours online, I don’t use Instagram a lot lately, I haven’t opened Tiktok that much since last year and tbh I’ve kind of abandoned Tumblr lol. Since that’s what’s going on, I only go online to post some silly thoughts and WIPs! Other than that, I’m definitely taking my time to finish my OC ref sheets and to develop ideas and designs on my sketchbooks.

Anyway, I’m afraid I’m still very insecure when it comes to my art. I really want to find my identity: an art style and the themes I’d like to represent in my art; and I’m really struggling to achieve that. For that reason I’m still scared of people thinking I’m going through an art “regression”, but I’m still projecting my self-perception onto other people LOL. I will work on it though.

Despite that, I’m feeling way more confident in my art and giving myself more space to experiment, find inspiration in other places, learn more about myself and what I like, etc etc. So I guess you could say that even if I’m not drawing a lot, I’m still trying to improve, even if it’s in a more passive way lmao. 

In search of inspiration.

I’m in my “making moodboards and researching subcultures/aesthetics” mood. I don’t like the marketability and consumer culture behind the popularization of aesthetics, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say this has been a big interest of mine since I was really young! I really like looking at aesthetics and color palettes that are aesthetically pleasing to me and linking them to themes, stories, OC’s, etc; and using them as inspiration to make art myself!

You could say this has been my way of finding my style and the things that interest me more when making original stuff. I’m not that interested in joining aesthetic communities nor following aesthetics and subcultures with set rules, but in taking inspiration from many things that I like and making them my own! Last year I was so focused on making fanart I kind of lost myself. I focused on making characters recognizable and the aesthetics marketable, so much that I ended up making very generic and boring stuff. Now that I’m focusing on making more original art and OC’s, I want to find the things that I care about the most, find my own visual and thematic identity and apply that to my fanart later. Kind of like, instead of adapting to the source material’s art style and vibe, adapting the source material to my own style. Does this make sense?

This search for inspiration has been very useful in terms of figuring out what I want my art to look like, but it’s also helped me with things like what I want to dress like! I’ve learned that instead of putting myself in a box, I want to experiment with many different looks and visuals but in a way that makes sense to me. To summarize, I want everything I do to be cohesive without committing to just one aesthetic and color palette (like some artists tend to recommend in Youtube videos). I want it to be cohesive because I have developed a proper art style and way of doing things that says “hey, Jesse made this!”, not because I’ve turned my art into a marketable brand! Of course, it’s easier to say this than it is to actually do it, but that’s the thing with art. To develop an art style and recognizable aesthetic you have to practice a lot, take inspiration from many different places and learn from your mistakes to shape your art into something you enjoy more. At least that’s what I think about it!

Now that I’m done looking for general aesthetics inspiration, I think I should go back to engaging with art T.T It’s been sooo long since I last watched or read something… I’ve been playing games but not that much so yeah. I really, really want to get into Witch Hat Atelier (the manga, maybe I’ll watch the anime later!), I think that’d be a good starting point to start reading comics again (what kind of comic artist am I if I don’t read comics? LOL) (Yeah I’m very lazy and I struggle A LOT to get into new stuff u.u)

 Plans for the future.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a bit recently! I’m probably not gonna sell any merch this year, and aside from doing the reference sheets for Art Fight, I’m not really working on anything… So I’ve decided that once Art Fight’s over (or maybe during Art Fight, depending on how motivated I am LOL) I will start working on new merch and illustrations to improve my merch portfolio for future cons :P

I really didn’t want to produce more merchandise, since I still have leftovers from my first con (sales went just okay haha), but I think that if I really want to step up my game and have a better portfolio, I should make new designs and illustrations. However I don’t plan to make a lot of acrylic stuff, I’m not a big fan of acrylic goods. Maybe I’ll make some wooden chams! But I want to focus on prints, stickers, photocards and zines!!! My idea is to make some series of illustrations, merch sets (like sticker sets) and zine/book projects, mostly focusing on original art. I know original art isn’t exactly the best seller at conventions, but I really want to put my original characters, stories and personal art out in the world! I will for sure be making fanart too though, I just want to make more originals and give it a try.

Talking about zines, I’m still preparing my ko-fi shop, I haven’t forgotten about that! I actually want to sell some of those zines physically at cons in the future, so I’ll for sure be posting the digital versions for free soon :’) I just have to prepare a bunch of stuff, it’s a lot of work and I won’t like, it makes me a bit anxious to post this perzines since they’re very, well, personal and I’m not used to post that kind of art online :’D But I’ll try to find some time to finally open the shop this month LOL

Other stuff that’s been going on!

Well this month was really good because it was my birthday! And surprisingly this year I didn’t feel terribly bad about it haha, I had a lot of fun actually! I spent a lot of time with my family and had a blast! I’m surprisingly really happy lately, even though I tend to feel a bit anxious and sad when I feel happy for a long time lol, BUT it’s not a feeling that lasts for long, so I’m pretty much feeling great as of now :)

I also finally got to play the full version of Tomodachi Life and even though I felt a bit disappointed at first, I’m still having so much fun playing it and I like checking it to see what my blorbos are doing >:) I gotta confess, I haven’t been drawing a lot because of this game lol, but luckily I’m using my OC island to design some OC’s that have been on my mind for a while, so that’s great because it encourages me to draw them LOLLL I’ll try to show you some Tomodachi Life stuff soon, once I transfer some screenshots to my PC !!

I’m also very excited for pride month :D It’s sad to spend Pride Month in the closet, but who knows, MAYBE I will take the opportunity to finally come out this time LOLLLL…. Anyway, I’ll try to make some Pride art during this month, even if it’s just a silly sketch page or something with my OC’s!! (I also wanted to make a series of sketches with my ace attorney lgbtq+ headcanons, should I finally do it?? I think it’d be fun….)

I guess that’s all!

Anyway I think I’m feeling much better than last time and that’s good! I’m glad things are getting better :’) I don’t wanna jinx it, but I hope I continue feeling this way and I have a nice summer this year (since it’s my last summer before I go back to studying since I dropped out lol….)

I’ll try to work more on this site and write more entries this month too! I’ll definitely keep posting little updates and WIPs on social media, if you’re interested, but I’ll try to be more present here too…

For now, that’s all I had to talk about! Hope this post wasn’t too long and boring haha, see you next time! ♥