Hello, hello! Time flies and we’re already at the end of the month again… I don’t have very relevant news, but I want to talk about my plans for the next few months and some of the things I’ve been up to this month :P

Social Media and Mental Health

As time passes by, I’m noticing my mental health is declining in ways I didn’t expect. I’ve been going through this for 3 years now, but I think I’ve never felt as bad as I do now… Of course, this affects my relationship with art and social media.

Aside from stuff I’d rather not talk about here, I’ve noticed that I really struggle with making art not caring about how it’ll look on social media or how well it’ll perform (because it’s bad, the answer is always bad!), it’s become a pointless battle where I always lose. I’m stuck in a creative rut, and there’s no solution to that other than time… but if I keep posting art I’ll post art I’m not happy with, and that makes things worse. I’m afraid of people judging me for having an “art regression” or doing things worse than I used to, because my art has lost its charm, its identity and its cohesiveness. Maybe it’s dumb to worry about this when I barely have an audience anyway, but I think deep down it’s because I’m also disappointing myself and I’m projecting my self dialogue onto an imaginary audience.

Anyway, I was already planning to reduce the amount of non-art related posts I make online, but I’m definitely gonna step back and draw for myself for a while. Something I said I was gonna do a while ago, but failed because I can’t stop sharing my art LOL. I’m sure I will feel that itch again, because I love posting my stuff and I think art is better when shared with other people, but I want to change that for a while and see how it goes for myself.

It almost feels like a failure from my perspective. This year I wanted to take steps forward: open my ko-fi shop, start my comic, maybe open commissions? But at this rate, I don’t think it’ll be possible. I only have to say sorry to myself, because that’s the person I’m disappointing the most.

Despite everything, I plan to keep posting reels and tiktoks to keep the accounts alive, I’ll still be over on Bluesky reposting stuff and microblogging and my personal IG account will be active since I plan to do more hobby stuff for that account (I’ve found a lot of comfort in participating in doing my hobbies and some fandom activities like itabags and photocard collecting, it’s lowkey the only thing keeping me sane rn). I won’t disappear from the internet, I just want to reduce the time I spend on it and stop posting art for a while u.u

My Plans Now.

I know this entry has been kind of depressing so far, so I’m sorry! But I promise I’m not giving up, I have plans to keep making art even if I don’t want to focus on sharing it.

My plan for these next months is to prepare for Art Fight! I want to spend all my time drawing my OC’s and finishing their designs so I can put their ref sheets on Art Fight. Of course I also want to design my OC’s so I can draw them more often and start working on my comics, but my priority this year is AF, since I don’t think I’ll be drawing many pieces or comics to begin with.

It makes me a bit sad to not be drawing full pieces and illustrations like last year, but I’ve lost all my motivation and creativity so… It’s not only that I can’t draw them, it’s also that I don’t feel like it. I’ve lost my interest in drawing most of the fanart I planned to draw last year, and as long as I haven’t finished designing my OC’s, I won’t be able to draw them ??? So I don’t really find the energy to draw full pieces anymore. I think it’s fine to spend the rest of the year working on OC’s, and it’ll probably be something more rewarding for me, so idk, I think this is the right choice.

Aside from that, I want to finish my zine WIPs, and potentially open a free(pay what you want) ko-fi shop with all my zines. I think that’s the only thing I plan to do regarding sharing and publishing my art, but I also don’t promise anything, I might do more, I might do less.

My therapist has recommended that I stay away from art as much as possible unless I can start my art classes, but I love art enough to still try to do these very few things I’ve decided to do… But if you see me not doing them, you can assume I prioritized my mental health :’)

I’m obsessed with my OC’s!!!

Moving on to more fun stuff, I’ve played the Tomodachi Life demo and now I’m obsessed with how cute my OC’s look in the game TvT I need to get my hands on the full game as soon as possible, I need to put my OC’s in situations even when I’m not drawing LOLL

I’ve been really obsessed with my OC’s for a while, honestly I can’t stop thinking about them and about drawing them :’) Which reminds me, I’ve been working a lot on the website sections about my comics and OC’s!! I promise the progress is going well, I just need to finish new art of my OC’s to style the pages and finish the CSS too. Soon you’ll have a place to read more about them >:)

I’ve also started writing the plot of my first two comics and I’m very excited to keep developing them and finally start drawing them. Step by step, it’ll come together eventually!

I think I don’t post enough about my OC’s to have people remember them and care about them… but I’m doing my best to finally show you more of them and their stories. If it doesn’t happen this year, it’ll be the next one, but you will meet them eventually, I promise!

Summarizing

Sorry if this entry was a bit sad and underwhelming, life happens and sometimes things aren’t as good as we want them to be. I’m still going to therapy and working on my mental health, so everything will be fine eventually, at least I hope so LOL.

In other news, since I plan to slow down on posting on social media and making art as a whole, I might find time to finally finish this website’s gallery :) Stay tuned!

I guess that’s all for now, see you next time! ♥